Journey Out

What's in a name?

Ric...My name is Ric. That's R-i-c....Ric. I tell you this not because it is cool, kitchsy or even unique by today's standards. I tell you because I have been spelling my name that way since I was 7 years old. I was born on June 10, 1954. (I'll do the math for you...that's 49!)......The spelling was my first form of outward rebellion towards my parents. It was in retaliation to their own unique form of child abuse--You see from birth they had called me Rikki---spelled yes, you got it R-i-k-k-i....so in 1961, at the enlightened age of 7, I became Ric. (I also count this as my first step towards being "terminally unique" a drive and desire that has taken me down many a winding road and out of the proverbial "closet") I digress... anyway--in 1961--this was unique!...well, actually, it was considered more odd and strange than unique and clever. Little did I know it was all just beginning.....

A Preface about the Preface

I began this journal with a preface about my name because that rebellious free-spirit approach exhibited in the “name crusade” sets the tone to much of my life and many of my choices I’ve made. Always wanting to somehow “separate out” from the general population is a trademark of my friendships, jobs and shoe choices. I recognize this as my desperate quest for terminal uniqueness. The fact is I’m a loner….I think this label makes others more uncomfortable than it does me. I am more at peace by myself than I am even in the company of my closest of friends or lovers. Now don’t get me wrong, I like people….well, some people…ok, a few people. Truth is I find noise and crowds exhausting. I can’t believe that I lived in NYC for over a decade. Now, I visit there regularly and find it an experience requiring several hot showers, a massage and a warm fire to rejuvenate me from even the shortest of stays. (Yes, the city is alive….but then again so is a mugger as he or she assaults and violates you.) Ironically, I have made a living at designing and producing large-scale mega-sized events such as the Olympics, Presidential Inaugurals, corporate/association meetings and conventions. Lot’s of crowds, noise and glitz---aghhhh!
Pretty odd confession from someone about to embark on a journey that will inevitably take me to some of the most populated, dirtiest an noisiest places on the globe….but the trip also promises some (hopefully many) moments of quiet solitude and exploration…..(God, does that sound naïve!).

So why go?

Well the dance or struggle to answer that question is what I call Four Play for Adventure…..so in the next entry…it’s time for a little four play…

Four Play for Adventure

As a kid we moved a lot, I mean a lot…a ridiculously dysfunctional amount. Most people immediately assume that my family must have been associated with the U.S. military….early on, this was true…but as the years went by and his military service ended, my father just seemed to be a generally unhappy lost soul who was in a constant, almost free fall search. While his search was officially grounded in looking for the next “good job”, unofficially, my dad was trying to find what we now, in the overly commercialized market of self-help, call his dharma…..for those of you who don’t invest a vast fortune in that aisle of your corner bookshop…your dharma is your ”reason to be” not to be confused with your karma ( something I’m sure we’ll touch on later). His “search” drug my mom, sister, brother and me around for countless years and to countless locales. Our tour (in my mind, a bad bus & truck of Evita’s famed Rainbow Tour … by now I was a devotee of show tunes) finally ended when he set out on his solo one-man tour de force…an unannounced re-invent of himself as a “devil may care” radio news reporter “freed from all encumbrances” including family and living in the “wilds” of Cocoa Beach, Florida in the late 60’s.

Unfortunately, I don’t think this is particularly unique to our society. I think this constant moving with disregard to season, school calendar or geographic locale has had the effect of creating a new nomadic American society. A culture much evidenced by too many dilapidated trailer parks scattered along the once traveled highways and byways of our great land. Nomadic portability! (of course now we celebrate portability with our laptops and cell phone numbers). Anyway, the byproduct of all of this….the bottom line, if you will….is that roots, stability and permanence are all uncomfortable for me…..to stay in one place longer than 3 or 4 years becomes excruciatingly tedious. Now don’t get me wrong….I recognize the “syndrome” and have even broken the cycle several (well, a few ) times. Even then, while I may not make a dramatic geographic leap—I do change apartments before the dust settles or paint dries. Friends dedicate several pages of their address books to my wander lust escapades—something they remind me of all too often.

So after years of working in the arts (show tunes, remember?), sweating, fretting, ranting and often starving…I have discovered that I, like my father before me and no doubt his before him, am engaged in “the” search…this eternal quest for dharma. Couple this with middle age, gay freedom, loss of a beloved pet and a few extra bucks in the bank….”shaken, not stirred” and voila…the perfect quest…..go around the world alone in 150 days or so….sounds pretty care-free doesn’t it??…

About those Fears

Fear #1--When I seriously started considering doing an around the world jaunt, I was reluctant to speak to my peers about it. My first fear was that many would view this as an irresponsible act for many “adult” reasons. Most adults don’t just walk away from careers, homes, friends and responsibilities and set out on a solo trip such as this. I see many of these objections to be very real and very wise considerations. I was surprised at the reactions to my announcement of the trip–the overwhelming reactions were positive and supportive. Now, secretly they may have concerns and snickers but to a man and woman everyone has been publicly very supportive. Many who have known me for years, have expressed their happiness that I am finally going to stop whining about this and going to do it! So with the support (and secret envy of others), you’d think I’d be fine---not me! In my version of Fear Factor, there’s the issues of money and re-invention.

Fear #2—Money. This is not a trip that’s being bank rolled by a well funded trust. Fact is money and fiscal management has not been my strong suit. Now don’t get me wrong, I pay my bills and live a comfortable life. I’m not extravagant or particularly materialistic. I have a nice nest with some cherished pieces of art. I don’t have a mortgage. I don’t drive the hottest wheels (a late model Jeep Cherokee does me fine)…luckily, my hips aren’t flattered by the latest in low rise denim or trend. I’ve managed to have low credit card debt (by today’s standards) and have food in the fridge. As we say, so for today, I have enough.

I am truly fortunate. As a freelance creative director/production manager, when I put my mind to working, I make good money. Note I said “when I put my mind to it”…that is sort of the key to my fiscal irresponsibility. I work enough to get by. I don’t think of myself as a lazy person, but by all American work standards, I am. I work enough to get by for today (or at least for the immediate ensuing months). Long term retirement planning is not a part of my plan. In defense of my decision to do this—if I didn’t do it, the money I’d save would not be stored away somewhere six months from now gaining interest—so I think directing it to this adventure is what I consider an investment of sorts.

This segues to my third big fear—re-invention.

Fear #3. Startin’ over. In my past, as I’ve made wild, irresponsible decisions, I’ve always secretly known that I would land on my feet…I have a girlfriend who has always described me as a cat…No matter how I am tossed through life, I will always land on my feet. For the longest time I hated that reputation. It seemed to me to imply I could do this “life” on my own and independent of assistance from others regardless of whatever disaster comes my way. Well today I have a better understanding of what she really means by this “landing on my feet” thing—my life skills seem to suit me for adaptability and re-invention. She also points out that as long as there is a Marriott Hotel chain, I can find job…(her philosophy is founded on the “white, bright, smart tie, gay guy” theory) No offense intended to anyone who doesn’t wear “smart ties’…but I confess that I believe she’s right. If you follow this line of thinking, that while I may be stepping away from a career that I routinely relapse into, if I come back from this trip and can’t find immediate work, I will likely be able to find something that can pay the rent. True—but my god, I might actually have to work a full 9-5 day….that’s more likely the real source of my fears!!

And One More Thing...

When you decide to make a trip like this, I think the natural thing to do is to make some lists---I have post-its and “to do” lists everywhere….so if you set out to be footloose and fancy free, get organized and load yourself down with things to do….My 10 Point List…

1) Learn a second language—(after all, I have 6 weeks!)
2) Pack your life into boxes, farm out a lifetime of plants, forward your mail and disconnect your life
3) Squeeze and save every penny you can
4) Then spend every saved penny on critical must have things like a new digital camera, an I pod that holds 60,000 songs, new luggage…and every cool travel gizmo The Discovery Store is pushing this month
5) Get injected with every botulism known to man to protect you against every disease on the planet except the universal malady—The (insert country name here) Revenge…
6) Build a web site for your blog….(learn the term BLOG)
7) Learn how to build a web site for your BLOG
8) Call web site designer to build your web site for your BLOG
9) Buy, read and commit to memory every Lonely Planet guide book ever written on where you MIGHT go
10) Oh yea, get your ticket… make a will… and send out Christmas cards (of course).

Any guesses on how many of these I've gotten done?? Did you get your card yet?